at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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