i just had sex bonerless
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
