Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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