My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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