It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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