I heard we made out
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
