yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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