you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
