So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
