Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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