Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
