I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
