just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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