She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
