A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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