im drinking this country out of the recession.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
