Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Less talking, more tequila
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
