Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
