sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize