I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
