Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
