Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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