I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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