he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
