I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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