he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
