I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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