I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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