herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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