On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
