69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
