Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize