So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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