yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
