her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
