We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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