I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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