I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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