she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
