My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
