what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
