i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
