The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
