I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
