dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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