she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize