the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
