remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
