But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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