wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Drake has all the answers
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