neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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