Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
