So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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