don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
