the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
