Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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