to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
