Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
