But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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