Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
