Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
