So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
